Cascading Veils of Perception

A Journey Through the Kaleidoscope of Identity and Connection

      I invite you to revisit the tapestry of your growth, the scene within your original family setting. What hues define this tableau? And how does your experience resonate?

      For many, recalling their formative years within the family unit conjures shades of gray, a monochrome canvas that emanates feelings of tension, unease, and even anxiety. Some may even express sentiments of abandonment or insignificance within that realm.

      Now, I pose a more profound question: Has this canvas shifted as you've matured?

      Perhaps, for most, it remains unchanged.

      We navigate our lives with an antiquated map in tow, journeying through the present with antiquated preconceptions. Our perceptions of family dynamics, intimate relationships, and parent-child connections are shaped by this outdated map. Consequently, our reactions are dictated not by the current reality but by an ancient internal map of identity.

      When this map of identity solidifies and becomes unyielding, innovation falters. A person finds themselves unable to forge new realities beyond the scope of their existing identity. Consider the scenario of a person mired in depressive self-identification; cemented within such an experience, they find it difficult to connect with perspectives beyond their depressive state. Advising them to be more upbeat, to embrace positivity, or to engage in physical activity falls on deaf ears, as their identity has erected an insurmountable barrier.

      The crux of many individuals' issues lies in this state of rigidity, particularly at the level of identity. How then can one construct a novel sense of self and thereby fabricate fresh realities? A simple suggestion emerges: expand your horizons. Immerse yourself in a diverse company, explore new domains, and stretch your boundaries.

      Perhaps you might delve into the biography of an individual who moves you deeply. Allow their mission, vision, and identity to resonate with you, expanding your cognitive landscape. As this resonance unfolds, the straitjacket of your identity begins to slacken, yielding a broader perspective.

      Venture to new places, interact with diverse individuals, learn from myriad mentors, or immerse yourself in nature. These endeavors all contribute to the construction of the self. As author Joan Halifax, the writer of "The Virtues Reflection," aptly states: within every self resides the sun and breeze, the earth and flowing water, living beings and plant life, interconnectedness. When you open yourself from your core to the world, to the domains of existence, you kindle these diverse experiences, thus unfurling the entanglements of your identity from rigidity to fluidity.

      Three years past, during a conversation with a friend, I was posed with a query: What emotions surface when you contemplate your father? The image elicited from such contemplation instantly opened my heart, allowing it to melt. Subsequently, my friend continued, asking about my feelings toward my mother. My response was muted, silence echoing...

      In that instance, I realized with astonishment that my heart held back in the presence of thoughts about my mother. It remained sealed, void of flow or warmth. This was a revelation, given that my cognition held the belief that my mother's boundless love and her tireless contributions to our family warranted a more open-hearted response.

      However, when I confronted my genuine sentiments, I recognized that the internal map depicting my relationship with my mother was frigid. Despite this revelation, I found solace in this newfound awareness.

      Without it, the frigid map would have continued subconsciously guiding my interactions with my mother. Thankfully, I had gained awareness... From that moment onward, my interactions with my mother underwent a transformation—

      Once, on the brink of departing for the countryside, I embraced my mother. Unaccustomed to such displays of affection, she awkwardly responded, 'Alright, alright, you should be on your way...'

      Over time, with each visit, I embraced my mother. Gradually, she reciprocated with warmth and a gentle smile, urging me with words of affection. In those moments, I would inhale deeply, absorbing my mother's energy, her smile, her warmth, and her touch. I internalized them deeply, inhaling them into my very being. The once-fixed image of my mother, the self-identity entwined with our relationship, underwent a transformation. As I infused my mother's tenderness, the rigidity melted, giving way to an embrace that exuded warmth.

      Each moment is a reminder for me: Wengming's mother is strict and tender, discerning yet brimming with love. A myriad of facets define her, each a distinct aspect. Wengming, recognize the multifaceted mother before you, an authentic presence.

      In every relationship, an identity forms the foundation. With an open heart and heightened awareness, one rekindles fluidity within the entwined identity, reconstructing a fresh framework for the relationship with one's mother. This journey guides me toward uncharted territories.

      Consequently, when you bring conscious awareness into realms hitherto unobserved, adjusting your focus toward the future you aspire to create, myriad possibilities unfurl. Greater focus emerges, enriching connections with novel elements—fresh possibilities, and new experiences. Thus, the process of transformation initiates.

When conscious awareness permeates uncharted territories, growth inevitably unfolds.