No need for perfection
When no one feels terrible in front of another person, they are willing to listen to the advice they give. A person only wants to listen to another person when they feel valued.
Let children grow at their own pace and use the energy spent on children on themselves, nurturing children with "blessings."
In fact, the most effective way to help children progress is to discover their strengths. When a person receives positive affirmation, they are more willing to change.
Before talking to a child, ask yourself two questions:
- Will this conversation enhance or weaken the child's power?
- Will my relationship with the child get better or worse after this conversation?
After asking yourself these two questions, you will calm down, have clearer answers within yourself, and then be able to help you say positive and effective words and take effective actions.
Children are like seeds, and seed always has the nature of becoming a towering tree. And children naturally tend toward goodness, upward progress, self-transcendence, self-growth, and desire to create more value for themselves and others, growing into their unique selves...
Milton Erickson said: When a person's inner desire is not heard, they will develop neuroses.
Therefore, listen to the symptoms because there is a longing there that has not been seen or heard. Slow down, relax, bring your mindfulness, focus, awe, and submission to that place, and then you will receive deeper wisdom in your life, including about the symptoms of children.
The reason we suffer is that we do not listen to the longing in the depths of pain. Once we listen to it, do something for it, make a mature commitment, and take responsibility for ourselves, our lives move forward.
When we do this for ourselves, we can know how to remove the obstacles that hinder us from becoming towering trees, and our spirituality can bloom in this world.
When we know how to do it for ourselves, we can do it for our children. We can come to understand that the depths of our problems are not really problems, the deepest points of our pain are not just pain, and the most profound depths of our sadness are not only sadness but also where our spirituality begins to bud. When we practice opening up to ourselves, we have the opportunity to remove obstacles to our growth and allow our spirituality to blossom in this world. So perhaps opening up is our only hope.